Monday, December 28, 2009

Dragon Age Origins

Nothing has taken over my friends more in a single, sinister swipe than Dragon Age Origins. The game came out, and I literally lost contact with all my buddies. Games were cut short, conversations were distracted, and it was almost like stepping into one of these commercials.



Only everyone was talking about Dragon Age Origins.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a BioWare fan, and such fandom stretches back to watching friends play Baldur's Gate on a shitty TV in an equally – if not more so – shittier dormitory, brief flirtations with KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, and Jade Empire, and then coming in late to class due to Mass Effect. So, I'm not a super fan in comparison to some, but I got enough love to become supremely (playfully) jealous of the hours my friends were clocking in while I was enslaved by a NaNo WriMo deadline. I guess I can't complain too much. I did get a novel out of that... one I haven't touched since, but anyway!



So, I impatiently watched all of my friends get laid, get loots, and get general auras of sheer pleasure just from talking about the game. Seriously, everyone was all a-glow. I didn't know whether to ask them how much they enjoyed their first kiss, or when the baby was fucking due. I needed to play this, it needed to happen, and the month just wasn't going by fast enough. Finally, I got my hands on Dragon Age Origins and let me tell you -

I had a great time.


Dragon Age Origins

What was so weird was that I approached the game exactly the same way I approached Mass Effect. There was a moment of hesitance, like the game had to court me to eventually play it full tilt, hours on hours, getting dehydrated, catheter, IV to supply nutrients, sponge baths, etc, the list goes on, so forth, all of which resulted in an ass only second to the ass I had at the end of Butt-Numb-A-Thon. Although a majority of my thoughts were favorable to picking this game up as soon as possible, I have to admit there was a shadow of a doubt. Cool. Mass Effect with swords and crossbows... whatever... and...?


All the big floppy teets I could ever hope for?

Who am I kidding? Dragon Age Origins is really its own game with the familiarities of a BioWare game you've come to expect. And it's not that half-handed new Harry Potter movie expectancy either, it's full on BioLove and believe me, the game will take care of you in many, many ways.


Unlike Harry Potter...

The learning curve to this game took me juuuust a minute. Had to hold my own in a couple fights, explore the inventory a little bit, make some poisons, make some potions, make some traps, only use the potions, etc. The radial menu operates differently from Mass Effect, with content usually varying from person-to-person, instead of everyone's talents/specializations condensed into one menu. BioWare has a lot of confidence in its players, they trust them with mechanics a bit complex to really digest right away (especially without the help of a solid tutorial), but once you get a handle on it, the pay off is an involving and intuitive combat. Sometimes I have some issue with games where one button is my key attack, but here in Dragon Age Origins you can assign multiple moves to two sets, and then access more of your abilities and specializations in the radial menu. I like that, and meeting this challenge is gratifying when you get the swing of things.


Get it? He's swinging the... and... ahem, right. Moving on.

The combat in this game, in my mind, does not top the combat in Mass Effect with the exception of your A.I. knowing which way to attack. That's a big fix that I am an even bigger fan of. Still, encounter areas, ambushes, charges, they're all fun to play, except that if one Darkspawn off in the great blue yonder gets a whiff of the fight, you'll remain locked in combat until the last SOB falls. This is a bit aggravating, but becomes less of a problem the more you level up. Your villains run the board between Darkspawn, bandits, assassins, and a very heavy metal looking Loghain. What they all have in common, beside an insatiable urge to kill you, is an extremely high blood pressure that will have you painted in so much blood by the end of the encounter you'll look like you just lived through the most epic fight ever with Jackson Pollock.


Jackson Pollock has one speed: blood.

Beyond the combat, the inevitable dungeon crawls are pretty generic, and the layout mediocre. However, the environment is taking a not-too-surprising backseat to all of the interaction, story elements, A.I., and combat which make up a bulk of the game. So, when you aren't spelunking through these dungeons, you head back to camp and engage in a social tug of war with your brothers and sisters at arms that will result in you either being ostracized or significantly laid. Now, I say significantly because about every sex scene you'll encounter in this game will see you re-enacting the intimacies of King Gerard Leonidas Butler and that British chick from Ripley's Game a la 300. Multiple positions, varying sexual tableaux and... by the way, and this is just something subtle I picked up along the way, if you're a chick anyone you do it with will pretty much guarantee you a one way trip to losing your butt-flower. I'm sure Leliana would have followed suit given the proper “accouterments”. All the while the music love child of Howard Shore and Enya lives, chanting you through what looks like an experience somewhere between awesome and freakay.



At least it gets switched up a lot, that's considerate.

It's hokey, but damn if it isn't really addicting. No, not the sex – there are groups for that which I know... er, am aware of – but the general interaction with your allies is really riveting, a perk I have come to expect from a BioWare game. There is real substance to these characters, and their histories are intriguing. Dialogue requires just as much strategy as your fights do. Since Mass Effect, the boys and girls in the conversation department have upped the challenge. You need to pay even closer attention to the characters around you, and you really do need to pace yourself in the decision making department because the whole game will ultimately be affected by even the smallest conclusions. Seriously, I put my controller down at one point and started actually weighing the pros and cons of a certain situation. I only ever do that – in real life – when something like a kidney has to be donated, or when a waiter peeks over his notepad and says: “Soup or salad?” The internal debate triggered is just that occupying!


VS!

… Do my priorities seem odd there? Hm.

Anyway, if you're a fan of BioWare, if you're a fan of fantasy, RPGs, and looking for a video game project to occupy your time for the next couple weeks, and then some if you're like me and are planning a second run through, pick this one up! I think it's a huge undertaking to make an RPG that has junkie-levels of replayability, but BioWare certainly makes it look easy thanks to their uncanny consistency. Mechanics are a bit wonk, and if BioWare ever broke that habit of making little to no tutorial the mechanics probably wouldn't come across as wonk, but there you have it. BioWare is very receptive to their audience, and have promised some changes for Mass Effect 2, but really are still very stubborn with certain functionality habits. Fine by me, I have yet to be disappointed by them.

P.S.

I played a Dalish rogue elf, and I named my Mabari wardog Oliver Reed.


Good boy! That's a good Oliver Reed!

Replayability 1
Design 1
Story 1
Sound 2
Gameplay & Mechanics 2
Score: 7 out of 10

An overall awesome presentation makes up for generic environments that could have been made a little more exotic. There is solid replayability, including a story and well-vocalized characters that will bring you back for more. Some mechanics were stronger than others – crafting vs. enchantment, potion and poison making vs. trap making, list goes on – which I wasn't the hugest fan of, but what the hey. These things are pretty minor in contrast to another major accomplishment on BioWare's part. Well done!


Stay tuned for the dish inspired by the game! Campfire stew, Mabari crunch, and maybe even a little bit of that good ole Lyrium.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Planet Cracker Fried Chicken

Phew! Looks like time got away from me again. And to think, this was supposed to be the month where everything returned to normal. Ha!

Yeah, Andy and I actually got into Butt-Numb-A-Thon so right after the NaNo WriMo/Thanksgiving whirlwind we needed to figure out how to get our butts down to Austin, TX so they would be thoroughly numbed. The event really was spectacular, and the people there were really amazing. Our row neighbors Chris and Cathie were absolutely fantastic, and hopefully I'll get to sit with them again in a year or so. Got to chug a beer with Broken Lizard, got to meet some new people, got to meet some of my favorite film critics out there like Massawyrm and Moriarty. My "Joy of Cooking" book even came along for the ride and picked up a few signatures, making it an odd grease and ink stained culinary yearbook object now.

The Alamo Draughthouse had the rafters shaking with films like Faust, The Lovely Bones, Girl Crazy, The Red Shoes, Shutter Island, Le Magnifique, MicMacs, Frozen, Centipede Horror*, Candy Snatchers, Kick-Ass, and Avatar. I tried some Arrogant Bastard beer (hoppy, and a punch to the mouth, worthy of its name), the night before I had Dr. Pepper ribs, I also had a Royale with Cheese and 5$ milkshake, not to mention some homemade granola and yogurt in the morning.

... I may or may not have stolen a copy of the Alamo's menu...

Now that we're back, a little holiday money goes a long way. I was really surprised I got to do this recipe so soon. I thought I was going to have to wait until after Christmas! Nope. I had a lot of help from a few of my friends who gave me tons of advice, recipes, and I would say general encouragement to keep me brave in the face of pan frying. I have tried pan frying before, and I have burned myself a lot trying to do it, and ruined my food before. So, needless to say, I was a bit... yeah, nervous works. After some research and a leap of faith, in honor of de-limbing Necromorphs in Dead Space, here is the recipe for...


Planet Cracker Fried Chicken

- Buttermilk (1/2 gallon)
I couldn't find anything smaller in my store, and if you can't then you'll definitely have some left over. That's okay! You can always use buttermilk to make some really yummy biscuits
- 1/4 Tbl. of ground thyme
- 1/2 Tbl. of cayenne pepper
- 1 tsp. of salt
- 1 tsp. of pepper
- 1/2 Tbl. of garlic powder
- 1/4 Tbl. of oregano
- About a cup of flour
- Canola oil

Start heating up your oil. You're going to want a wide pan with high sides, like a skillet. Put in about 1/8-1/2 inch of oil. Basically, the oil needs to come halfway up the chicken in the end. 1/2 inch worked fine for me. You want your oil at a temperature of 375 (F), and if you don't... have a thermometer, I found that the notch just below medium heat worked fine.

My poultry for this recipe consisted of thighs, wings, and legs. Soak these, or whatever bits you would like to use, in buttermilk for about half an hour, or even over night. When you are ready to cook, strain the chicken. Toss the chicken with all of the herbs mentioned above.



Set yourself up with about a cup of flour in a plastic bag. Deposit your chicken in the bag, make sure the tight is shut and shake 'em like a Polaroid picture.
(Dip in buttermilk and shake again for a thicker fry)



Your oil should be heated up enough by now. Put your thighs in the center, and place the other pieces around it. Cook for about 11-12 minutes on each side, and shoot for an internal temperature of about 165(F).

You'll want these pieces to rest for a bit once they're done. The big recommendation is to the let them cool on a rack over a pan for ten minutes. I do not have a cooling rack, nor a pan, so I took out one of my oven racks, and put it over a wide plate. I arranged my chicken over that, and let it rest for about ten minutes.



This meal was served with baby carrots, cut in half, boiled until tender, and then tossed with butter, honey, white pepper and salt. Also, using some buttermilk, I whipped up some mashed potatoes to go with it. I totally fucked up the gravy, but if you have some drippings and like/are better at playing chemistry than me, reserve this and the flour for gravy.




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*I admittedly stepped outside for this movie. It was 3 a.m. and crisp outside, and the good company and cigarettes kept me up. I would have stayed, pushed through it, if the words "centipedes" "exploding" and "vagina" were not uttered in the same sentence.