Left 4 Dead 2

So.

Maybe.

I didn't finish Mirror's Edge. Maybe that was because Mass Effect 2 took off with me like an intergalactic pied piper, whistling promises of space exploration, anticipated enhancements far surpassing its first venture, and reunions with alien allies that would fight by my side, pledge loyalty to my cause, and put out. All of this, I could not be denied, I had to follow. Maybe that's it. Another way of saying it could be that we picked up an HDTV that my boyfriend has been relentlessly plying for all things baseball, hockey, and anything else that requires a protective cup. Not that I blame him, I've always liked sports, which has granted the Olympics headway in dominating the living room where I do a majority of my work (and meth). Of course, none of this is an excuse, and as much as I love sports I don't think I'm alone in the observation that if one even tries to come between a man and his sports...

Regardless. No excuse. I know. I do have two games ready for upcoming posts though - hooray!


Just another day in the bayou. Another fight for survival, kill all the undead rising out of the murky green water, set the Tank on fire, startle the wandering Witch, pray for your goddamn life the boat will come on time day in the bayou. New Orleans just isn't the same since the dead came back to life, and by the end of just another day in the bayou, it will just keep spreading.

Which is good, I mean, if you enjoy Left4Dead 2. Changing the setting and the characters seems a less than tentative step from humble juggernaut Valve toward a bigger end. Left4Dead 2 opens up a really titillating consideration for new vistas. Maybe the streets and sewers of Paris? Foggy nights in London? The cold streets of Moscow? Jesus. What about Tokyo? That's just a zombie nest waiting to happen.

Now imagine they all want to eat your brains. They're not unreasonable.

Considering everyone is on board, however. Left4Dead 2 faced some pretty ugly reactions upon announcing their intentions of release at E3 '09; from dedicated Left4Dead fans gathering thousands of fellow deadites to boycott the game, to accusations of racism and insensitivity in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Though many of these issues were met head on - “No, we have not forgotten L4D, there will be new content” and “Yes, that seems to be insanity you are suffering from, there are not just black zombies, and Hurricane Katrina has nothing to do with it in any case” – there is obviously a precedence there for the team to be aware of; the infected is one thing, it's the fans that are scary.

What do we want?!
Lots of attention!
When do we want it?!
Always!

But in a way, you have to give the fans some credit on this one. That is some gnarly devotion, and the first game really was that friggin' good. The Director was a huge step for enemy A.I that would reward and punish a player in a way similar to a kid luring out ants with some sugar before zapping them with a magnifying glass. Also, the use of cinematic tools brings a rich quality to the game that would be great to see more of in future Valve projects such as their Half-Life episodes. Tools like vignetting really elevated tension, color correction brought further detail in level design, and other elements such as film grain and sharpening gave the game a whole new visual sexiness. Cinematography and lighting became the player's “map” to a level.

In this case, yes, we do want to go towards the light.

How could Valve even think to top this sort of stuff? Especially with new characters no one knows, in a new city with new weapons no one has ever used and facing new special zombie friends. Now, I can get behind a game going against the grain of a typical video game sequel, but I'll admit that as a fan I could understand the skepticism. But then I got to play it and, no shit, it felt so good to be so wrong.

If only Nick were there, too...

You have your choice of four zombie baits: Coach, who is just what (awesome) his name (awesome) implies (and awesome). Nick, a con artist who would prefer the company of the zombies over his team and possesses my undying affection (call me). Rochelle, caught up in all the madness while she reported on the evacuation effort. And Ellis, your classic, Southern, bump-on-a-log who knows how to handle cars a lot better than people. They have their strengths, they have their weaknesses. Nick has ex-wives to spare should he run out of bullets, I'd call that a strength, while Rochelle's only weakness seems to be saying “son of a bee-sting”. They're plucky and mismatched, and they're also armed to the teeth.

(l to r): My husband, Rochelle, Coach, and Ellis

Because in this go around of L4D, you get melee weapons, and they are happy inducing. Electric guitars make a satisfying TWANG upon impact, and my Shaun of the Dead loving heart fluttered when I got to wield a cricket bat. There are tons of other melee weapons, and I won't get into all of them, suffice it to say that being struck with Boomer bile and subsequently assaulted by a horde of zombies ain't so bad when you got a chainsaw on hand. Don't worry, if melee isn't your thing there is a menagerie of firearms to choose from, some of them old friendlies like the shotgun and dual pistols, others newcomers such as the grenade launcher, magnum, and various species of rifles and shotguns.

TWANG!

You also have new equipment beyond the bullets, blades, Molotovs, pipe bombs, and happy pills. Boomer bile canisters can be thrown on Tanks, who are then jumped by tons of zombies – always a plus. Defibrillator units can resuscitate your team-mate, adrenaline shots will boost your speed and health for a brief period, and you can modify your ballistics with explosive and fire ammo. Laser sight extensions for your guns are also available! Hell yes, I... really didn't use most of this stuff. I mean, I dabbled in them, but when said defibrillator and explosive ammunition replaced my health pack, I quickly went back to my pack. A few of my friends swear by the modified pieces, but I just find them extraneous. A joke with a good set up, but once I heard the punchline... crickets. Still, pretty cool to watch a bullet set a zombie on fire. It's like a little Molotov cocktail in my gun.


Nick? Whoa, hold on, Nick. I thought we had something. Something magical! Something bigger and better than both of us!

I think one of my favorite modifications in this game was the improvement of the mini-events. In the first game you'd have to open a door, which would sound an alarm, and alert the zombies which would then pour onto your position with a firm determination to eat all your brains. In this game, let's say you open that same door door, and the alarm sounds, only this time you have to shut it off in a completely different area of the map. Until you shut that off, you will be assaulted by horde after horde after horde, and even after you have shut it off, the last wave still has to finish out. This ups the difficulty of the sequel considerably over the first one.

New specials like Spitters, Jockeys, Chargers, Lady Boomers, are all newcomers to the brain buffet, but they are not alone. Hidden in those hordes you are so desperately trying to dispatch are a few undead Easter eggs. There are zombies in HAZMAT suits that are immune to fire. There are clown zombies in the carnival level, and you can always tell they're on their way when you hear that ominous squeak, squeak, squeak amidst the groans and shrieks. Turned police officers have to be melee'd to expose a vulnerable back, considering their bullet proof vests protest their chest and stomach. Familiar special zombies like the Boomers, Smokers, Hunters, and Tank have also been spruced up for the sequel. This is one of my favorite things about Valve. They don't just finish a project, be that a character or design or weapon, without the intention of returning for more work, more polish. Just a little extra shine.

I mean, it was that or "Swallower". Technically, all zombies do that. No new ground being broken there, Romero.

If playing lonesome and alone in the dark isn't your thing, you can always hop on-line and make kindly, totally not abusive in the least friends via multiplayer! Nothing will bring out the beast in a gamer more than competitive FPS games. Still, it's refreshing in an almost sadistic way to know that somewhere out there is a person with nothing but burning hatred for you, a livid fury that only shines brighter as their attempts to veto you are denied over and over again. It's the kind of foam-at-the-mouth frenzy that can only be brought about when I had the chance to play a Jockey and run a survivor into a Spitter's acidic upchuck.

Bonk!

In multiplayer, you can rock it old school in your Member's Only jacket and Flock of Seagulls hair do if in this scenario L4D was released in the 80s. Versus brings you back to the roots of the game, switching you between Infected and Survivor through the span of a campaign. Survivor is there too, pitting you in a fight for your life against the Infected for as long as you can last. The only thing that could improve Survivor would be if I could join the game as an Infected. Nothing gets my griefing engine going more than playing the Infected, and the best place to vent this blood curdling talent is in Scavenge. This is a pretty cool one. The Survivors attempt to gather gas canisters to fill the tank of a racecar on display in the mall. This is a finale event in one of the campaigns, only this time you can play both sides of the fence which becomes an effort in concocting nothing short of pure, unadulterated rage fuel for some people involved.

It's like college all over again. Go VCU RAMS!

What's awesome about L4D 2 is not just that it has the Valve sticker and is automatically okay, you can see the work that went into the project. The graphics are smooth, the detail remarkable, the new characters entertaining, the levels and their scenarios tighter, more challenging, and definitely unique despite being tied together in a single, ambiguous plot. The fact there is an overarching story that travels behind the scenes of these levels connected me to the characters for the long haul, rather than connecting, disconnecting, and reconnecting with several different places and situations. Much more cohesive than the start-and-stop-start again of the first game. Mini-events and finale events also break up the monotony of the hike, and definitely kept me on my toes.


None of this is to say the first game was bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. The zombie frenzy has a tight hold on entertainment, and reinventing an approach to this graphic, brainy medium can be difficult. Instead of separating themselves from their predecessors, Valve paid homage and kept it simple. So minimalist, in fact, that they never really explain where the zombie breakout came from. All you had as a player in the first – and have as a player in the second game – was the rambling on the wall. The first game was a great achievement for Valve, but L4D 2 really meets all the potentials that may have been missed in the first game. When you play the game, you see these achievements, you feel it as that tension creeps back in and you keep closer to your team. Valve has managed to blend what we all love about zombie films and stories into an entertaining pair of games that I can only hope will keep growing, keep spreading, keep coming to get me.


Replayability 2
Design 2
Story 1
Sound 2
Gameplay & Mechanics 2
Score: 9 out of 10

Valve out does itself with this sequel, and shines better than ever even through all the blood and brains. There are some extraneous items in the game, but this does not render the game unplayable. Multiplayer has expanded, and so has the L4D universe. If you are new to the franchise, or are a veteran that wants to see L4D meets its maximum potential, you don't want to miss this one.

Stay tuned for the dish inspired by the game! We're looking at a ruby red crawfish étouffée.

Florentine Pasta Roses

Better late than never. Things have been pretty busy on this end, but that doesn't mean that something tasty can't come out of the chaos every once and a while. This dish was made at the end of a perfect, chill day. I got to spend some time at the State Farmer's Market, hang out with some good friends, and serve something delicious at the end of it all.

Here is the recipe for Florentine Pasta Roses, inspired by the game Assassin's Creed II. Lots of people died in this game, and it's only proper to pay our respects with roses.

A little tip when making these elegant, little pretties. Don't be afraid to trim them to better fit your pan. Also, slitting the top with a paring knife will help these blossoms really bloom. I will do that next time I make another bouquet.


This is a traditional dish out of Romagna, Italy. I wanted to put a Florentine twist on them, though, since the main character of the game hails from Florence, a major country on my "Bucket List". A big player in Florentine cuisine is spinach, and I incorporated another big player - broccoli - into the salad accompanying this dish.

First, let's get the sauce for this together.

Pasta Rose Sauce
4 Tbl. unsalted butter
1 cup heavy cream
1 Tbl. tomato paste
Pinch of nutmeg

Add your butter and heavy cream to any saucier, deep pan, or pot and heat to medium. Let this reduce, bubbling away for about 4-5 minutes.

Add your tablespoon of tomato paste, and whisk gently to dissolve. Let this reduce for another 4-5 minutes, or until your sauce reaches a buttermilk consistency.



The Pasta Roses
Pasta Sheets
Spinach
Prosciutto (8-10 oz.), strips
Fontina cheese, strips
**If you're trying to save a bit of money, feel free to substitute with provolone. It's not as creamy, but it is really smooth.**
Olive Oil (about 1/4 cup)


Start with the spinach. I picked up one bunch from my local super market. You want to remove the stems, blanch (or boil for about 3 minutes), and then shock in an ice bath. This is like a big kick start to the spinach's flavor, and will render a really nice color.

Set these prepped, deep green leaves to the side, we'll use them later!

Next, start boiling your pasta sheets. You want to do just a few at a time, or you'll get a big, lopsided mass of noodles. So, once your 4-5 sheets are al dente, shock them in your ice bath once more, and start another batch. Repeat as many times as necessary.

So, pull a pasta sheet between two fingers, rinsing starch off the surface, before applying a light coating of olive oil. Roll up your strips of spinach, prosciutto and fontina - slice this thin, you can prep this in advance with the spinach, too! - and trim according to the size you prefer for your blossom. I made relatively small ones, so I wound up splitting each pasta sheet in half.

Line your pan - I used a pie pan - with a thin layer of sauce, and start standing your blossoms up. You top the blossoms with more of the sauce, or serve that on the side. Garnish with grated Parmesan, or provolone.

Bake your bouquet at 450(F) for 15 minutes, and let stand for 5 minutes before serving.

Splitting the tops, allowing the pasta bloom, all of this eliminates the "pasta tulips" possibility.

Broccoli and Apple Salad
Mixed greens
Sliced apples
Diced basil
Sliced cucumber
Roughly chopped broccoli florets

Combine these ingredients in a big bowl!


I used pink ladies and winesap apples. They are both a little tart, with the pink ladies proving to be somewhat sweeter than the winesaps. It's so tasty with the cukes and broccoli, just another reason I love adding fruit to salads.

Toss with dressing, and if you like salt and pepper (make it grate!)



Homemade Florentine Dressing In all of the excitement, I forgot the lemon for this recipe. I substituted with pomegranate juice. The taste was still there, but lemon would have really driven this dressing home. Try not to forget your lemon like I did!
2/3 cup apple cider vinegar
4 sliced cloves garlic
1 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. basil
1/2 tsp. parsley
1/2 tsp. rosemary
1 1/3 olive oil
3 tsp. lemon juice

Give your herbs a rough chop or grind to start releasing their flavors.

Basil, rosemary, parsley, and thyme are seen as traditional Florentine herbs.

Steep the garlic, thyme, basil, parsley, and rosemary in the apple cider vinegar for 1 hour. If you let it steep for hours you'll get an herby mush that tastes earthy rather than light and aromatic. Smell is largely connected to taste, so try not to forget!

Strain all of this into the mixed together olive oil and lemon juice.

Shake it all up and chill. Try and do this close to serving time, or you'll get a big block of olive oil over the separated vinegar. Toss with your favorite salad, or use it for a veggie dip.

Most importantly: Enjoy!!



Coming up next we put motion sickness, dystopian futures, and parkour to the test in Mirror's Edge.

Assassin's Creed II

The assassin's feet and hands are on fire as he climbs a cathedral, closer to the hawk above. The creature's call an encouragement only he hears: keep going, keep going. So, the assassin pushes himself, every moment or so caressed by the circling shadow with the wide wingspan. Finally, he arrives to the top, and beholds Florence. The Duomo sits fat and proud like a well fed noble. The rooftops shimmer with a fresh coating of rain, and ashen clouds overhead have not yet cleared. The world echoes up here, faint sounds of civilization pierced by the hawk's cry. The assassin spreads his arms, springs off through the tips of his feet. His white robes rattle in combat with the air, and a mound of straw breaks his fall. He rolls to his feet, dry gold flaking from his shoulders as he blends into the crowd, never to be seen, and only later to be heard in the alarm bells announcing his target's death.

Just another moment for Ezio, the hero of Ubisoft's anticipated sequel: Assassin's Creed II.

'Sup, bitches.

The game has shifted, changed a few things around this time. There is more emphasis on the dramatic as opposed to the systematic. The missions, the characters, the dialogue is engaging considering the last game was: listen to these dudes, pickpocket that guy, beat him up for his info, now go kill your target, and this just repeated over and over again. Connecting you to your target this time are a series of events and plot points that eventually lead you to their bloody end. Although there are familiar ways to complete missions that range from distractions to combat, the missions themselves are never the same.

Limbo!

Ubisoft delivers on all levels with this game. They bring new mechanics, straighten out some older ones, and present a hypnotic game to the audience. One of the big changes is this ancestor knows how to swim, so now when he crashes into water from seventeen stories up he does not start flailing around like a semi-retarded cat only to inevitably sink. The first thing I actually did in the game to lose an enemy, was dive off a bridge, and held my breath beneath a bunch of reeds until the coast was clear. There are many other new surprises, but I don't want to spoil them all. Suffice it to say that many of the new moves are served to the player in a way resembling a five course meal. You don't just get a pile of new tricks, rather you receive them in segments.

Are you watching? Are you watching?! I'm gonna dive now. I'm gonna div - You're not watching!

Honestly, to go over every single new dynamic of this game would spoil most of the fun in playing it. Think back to when you played the first game, you Assassin's Creed fans out there! Jumping rooftop to rooftop, pouncing your targets with that hidden blade, taking your first leap of faith, the first kill, the mystery surrounding Abstergo - if you were like me and were totally into investigating the ever loving shit out of that - and everything in between. It was fun, it was exhilarating, and unlike Tenchu, it was a stealth assassin game that actually worked! The game did have some problems, but Ubisoft is hardly afraid of confronting these. They go back, they revisit what works, what doesn't work, and go from there. What's awesome about Assassin's Creed II is that not only have they taken some of their smaller problems and improved upon them, but they have even brought some improvements to the table that I wasn't even aware were problems in the first game. For example, this game has WAY more prostitutes than its predecessor.

Dramatization.

And not only will they give you cover, but they can also lure guards away, granting you smooth sailing to whatever it was they were guarding in the first place. Usually, they are guarding glimmering chests containing "codex" pages, which you can bring to probably the coolest supporting character since this guy.

Now, pay attention.

Leonardo DaVinci is your BFFF, the wind beneath your wings, the whiskers on kittens and raindrops on roses, and therefore one of your favorite things. MVP of this game goes to him, hands down. He modifies your weapons, he supports your endeavors, and he does it all with a big, happy smile on his face.

He invented the WHEEL! And everything you love. Even that sandwich.

He is not the only Italian Renaissance celebrity to make an appearance. You go head-to-head with the Pazzi family and you come to the aid of the Medicis, and all of this on the canvases of Florence, Venice, Tuscany, and eventually Rome. The environments are stunning, and you see them in varying atmospheres. Sometimes, Ezio will be traveling across a rooftop's tiles, ruby red on a perfect sunny day. Other circumstances will have him sprinting through puddles, escaping down an alley beneath dark rain clouds over head. Your shadow is longer at sunset, and at night you are a near shadow as you pull yourself out of moonlit Venice waters. The effect and scope of the game is breathtaking at times, from small moments like Ezio shrugging his cloak back into place as he walks, to larger moments standing under a firework lit sky at a Carnevale party. Which brings me to a difficult realm.

Looks like those Ezio and Leonardo boys is in trouble ageen.

There is a pressing argument out there that video games cannot be considered art, be that cinematic or otherwise. Considering some of our games are in landfills, at the bottom of Gamestop wire frame bins, and even labeled notorious, this is not too surprising. A major argument against video games involve the interruptions of save points, and because the player is manipulating the game itself there is no total immersion such as when one is looking at a painting, or regarding a film. The other side of the argument is that video games can be seen as a new artistic medium.

"... Son of a - "

That they provide a sense of escapism, which is often compared to art. That they can elicit an emotional response and connection from a player. I can see an example of this just looking back at my last post regarding my relationships in Dragon Age Origins. Both sides have their valid points, and I know where I stand (it should be obvious), but if this does generate any discussion I'd be more interested to see where others are on this. I know for a fact that some people I work with would take personal offense to someone saying what they do 40+ hours a week is not art, but I know others that would look at a video game - seriously? Pac-Man? - and wonder why we'd even waste our time with this debate.

OhshitOhshitOhshit!

To me, Assassin's Creed II hits a sweet spot between these two arguments, with a heavier inclination to "art". But, all of that tomfoolery aside, the game is worth checking out. If not for its beauty, then for the game-play, and if not for the game-play, you'll still have a decent story to walk away with. The characters are interesting, the actual game play is smooth as silk, and the view is incredible. This one is not to be missed.

Score: 8 out of 10
Replayability 1
Design 2
Story 1
Sound 2
Gameplay & Mechanics 2

Walking away with the first perfect score, Assassin's Creed II is worth every penny. The improvements and the newest additions work well together, the environments are detailed and impossible to ignore. Gameplay is intuitive, easy to pick up, and functional. Story is engaging, and even if plot isn't your thing, you'll have a grand ole time on Ezio's path of vengeance.

Stay tune for the dish inspired by the game!

Florentine Pasta Roses!

Stay Tuned!

So, I had some awesome company this past weekend. Erik, one of Andy's really close friends, visited. We saved the world from nano-bots, watched lots of football, and we also got to head out to the Retrofantasma double feature of "Ghost Story" and "It Came... Without Warning".



Needless to say, it was awesome. However, I could not complete Assassin's Creed 2, so stay tuned this week for the review, and then stay tuned next week for the recipe. I figure since I'm not slapping the review up here this go around, I can at least reveal the dish, yeah?

Florentine Pasta Roses. It's important to pay respect after all!

Campfire Stew (or Whose Ingredient Is It Anyway?)

So, I got a little cocky and probably should have expected that at some point one of these recipes would utterly blow up in my face as a result. The Campfire Stew is the humble maker.

I mixed apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, tomato paste, paprika, and some dried herbs (oregano, cumin, and ground rosemary), and then tossed three chicken thighs in this. While they braised in a 250(F) oven for 2-3 hours, I enjoyed a Hammer revenge flick.



Then, I began to brown the chorizo. I tossed in a chopped sweet onion and a large sweet green pepper with two finely diced garlic cloves and cooked these vegetables tender.



The chicken was de-boned and added. Following the chicken, I added a tomato paste concoction, a cup of chicken stock, and a splash of red wine.

And this was where everything really hit the fan.

Already, I had my misgivings about the food. I braised the chicken for too long - dry. The chorizo's consistency was not to my liking either. The vegetables were delicious, especially that sweet pepper. The flavors were blending rather nicely, and the wine totally tipped the scale.


Seen, here, tipping the scale.

Here is where I went wrong with making a stew like this.

1) The meat.
Chicken and chorizo. I should have picked one or the other, and in retrospect if I only had these two I would have gone with chicken. Unless you are cooking it in the casing, the chorizo gave me more of a chili consistency. Not what I wanted, I already have a chili recipe. In the future though, I will probably go with a red meat like lamb, venison or beef.


That's right, I'm coming for you!

2) The wine.
I never thought I would see the day that I would curse the name of alcohol so vehemently. A dry red would probably not have been such murder on any other stew if that stew were made with dark meat, or if that meat had been braised in the wine instead. Instead, I should have gone with a dry sherry. It's a bit more sweet, but despite this much more subtle than say... the dry red.

3) The pool.
Too many liquids. The chicken stock, the paste, the fat from the chorizo, and wine was drowning my stew, which is generally thicker than a soup.

So really, this has become a post about improvising in the kitchen, which is very similar to -


And Ming Na was not much of a help in my kitchen either. Boo, Mulan.

Okay, so, maybe it's not exactly like that? But sometimes a cooking project can be devastating when it bottoms out, and it becomes a whirlwind of activity to save it. I made this great batch of tomato sauce once and thought it was cool enough to jar. The second I put that jar down, the bottom shattered, and I really wanted to salvage it, despite the more rational side kicking in, saying: Rae, you can't serve glass with stuffed shells. The people just aren't ready.


Not ready.

The image I had of this homage to Dragon Age was facing total meltdown, and at this point I just wanted it to taste good.

The Fix.

To thin the stew pool out, I sliced up a Russet potato. I would totally not recommend Russet potato for a stew in any other situation. They are really great for mashed potatoes because if you heat them up enough they'll fall apart which is awesome for mashing. For stews though? You'll get potato slush. However, since this potato was being added late to the party, there was not much time or opportunity for it to fall apart. The starch in the potatoes seeped into the stew and began to thicken it up.

To fix the wine dilemma, I wound up adding about 1 1/2 tablespoons of honey and a can of diced tomatoes. The sweetness of the honey mellowed that harsh dry red wine taste, and the acidity of the tomatoes cut the rest of it.

So, was the dish saved? Yeah, it really was. It was delicious. I served it with quinoa and the red wine - we're cool now, obviously - and it was really yummy. I got to eat this meal on my BRAND NEW TABLE that my mom and her husband picked up for us.

In the end though... maybe I should have stuck with the Mabari crunch and a tall order of Lyrium. Those will definitely pop up on here eventually. I'm thinking in March when the expansion for Dragon Age Origins rolls around. I'm just too tickled by the idea to truly let it go.



I really want to try this stew again as well. I'm thinking venison, shallots, red potato, carrots, and fresh out of the pod peas. Anyone have any other suggestions? Believe me, after this big bowl of humble, I'm open to any tips, and ready to tackle the next dish which will be inspired by next week's game - Assassin's Creed II.


"Campfire Stew" made with chorizo and chicken, served on a bed of quinoa and a side of culprit red wine.

Kryptonite

So, on the way back home yesterday my stomach was seized by a vicious stomach bug that has reduced me to nibbling on apples, sucking down ginger ale, and picking through Luigi's cherry Italian ice. What a foodie nightmare!

Not only that, but the funds are depleted.

I can definitely promise the Antivan stew and possibly Mabari crunch. In the future, should I get to the "Lyrium", it will be posted.

Until then, I gotta recover.

Leave some love, and look for the Dragon Age recipe next Monday.

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!

Before I got sick, I managed to shoot a couple sketches with Andy and the Digitribe crew. Check 'em out!

Dragon Age Origins

Nothing has taken over my friends more in a single, sinister swipe than Dragon Age Origins. The game came out, and I literally lost contact with all my buddies. Games were cut short, conversations were distracted, and it was almost like stepping into one of these commercials.



Only everyone was talking about Dragon Age Origins.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a BioWare fan, and such fandom stretches back to watching friends play Baldur's Gate on a shitty TV in an equally – if not more so – shittier dormitory, brief flirtations with KOTOR, Neverwinter Nights, and Jade Empire, and then coming in late to class due to Mass Effect. So, I'm not a super fan in comparison to some, but I got enough love to become supremely (playfully) jealous of the hours my friends were clocking in while I was enslaved by a NaNo WriMo deadline. I guess I can't complain too much. I did get a novel out of that... one I haven't touched since, but anyway!



So, I impatiently watched all of my friends get laid, get loots, and get general auras of sheer pleasure just from talking about the game. Seriously, everyone was all a-glow. I didn't know whether to ask them how much they enjoyed their first kiss, or when the baby was fucking due. I needed to play this, it needed to happen, and the month just wasn't going by fast enough. Finally, I got my hands on Dragon Age Origins and let me tell you -

I had a great time.


Dragon Age Origins

What was so weird was that I approached the game exactly the same way I approached Mass Effect. There was a moment of hesitance, like the game had to court me to eventually play it full tilt, hours on hours, getting dehydrated, catheter, IV to supply nutrients, sponge baths, etc, the list goes on, so forth, all of which resulted in an ass only second to the ass I had at the end of Butt-Numb-A-Thon. Although a majority of my thoughts were favorable to picking this game up as soon as possible, I have to admit there was a shadow of a doubt. Cool. Mass Effect with swords and crossbows... whatever... and...?


All the big floppy teets I could ever hope for?

Who am I kidding? Dragon Age Origins is really its own game with the familiarities of a BioWare game you've come to expect. And it's not that half-handed new Harry Potter movie expectancy either, it's full on BioLove and believe me, the game will take care of you in many, many ways.


Unlike Harry Potter...

The learning curve to this game took me juuuust a minute. Had to hold my own in a couple fights, explore the inventory a little bit, make some poisons, make some potions, make some traps, only use the potions, etc. The radial menu operates differently from Mass Effect, with content usually varying from person-to-person, instead of everyone's talents/specializations condensed into one menu. BioWare has a lot of confidence in its players, they trust them with mechanics a bit complex to really digest right away (especially without the help of a solid tutorial), but once you get a handle on it, the pay off is an involving and intuitive combat. Sometimes I have some issue with games where one button is my key attack, but here in Dragon Age Origins you can assign multiple moves to two sets, and then access more of your abilities and specializations in the radial menu. I like that, and meeting this challenge is gratifying when you get the swing of things.


Get it? He's swinging the... and... ahem, right. Moving on.

The combat in this game, in my mind, does not top the combat in Mass Effect with the exception of your A.I. knowing which way to attack. That's a big fix that I am an even bigger fan of. Still, encounter areas, ambushes, charges, they're all fun to play, except that if one Darkspawn off in the great blue yonder gets a whiff of the fight, you'll remain locked in combat until the last SOB falls. This is a bit aggravating, but becomes less of a problem the more you level up. Your villains run the board between Darkspawn, bandits, assassins, and a very heavy metal looking Loghain. What they all have in common, beside an insatiable urge to kill you, is an extremely high blood pressure that will have you painted in so much blood by the end of the encounter you'll look like you just lived through the most epic fight ever with Jackson Pollock.


Jackson Pollock has one speed: blood.

Beyond the combat, the inevitable dungeon crawls are pretty generic, and the layout mediocre. However, the environment is taking a not-too-surprising backseat to all of the interaction, story elements, A.I., and combat which make up a bulk of the game. So, when you aren't spelunking through these dungeons, you head back to camp and engage in a social tug of war with your brothers and sisters at arms that will result in you either being ostracized or significantly laid. Now, I say significantly because about every sex scene you'll encounter in this game will see you re-enacting the intimacies of King Gerard Leonidas Butler and that British chick from Ripley's Game a la 300. Multiple positions, varying sexual tableaux and... by the way, and this is just something subtle I picked up along the way, if you're a chick anyone you do it with will pretty much guarantee you a one way trip to losing your butt-flower. I'm sure Leliana would have followed suit given the proper “accouterments”. All the while the music love child of Howard Shore and Enya lives, chanting you through what looks like an experience somewhere between awesome and freakay.



At least it gets switched up a lot, that's considerate.

It's hokey, but damn if it isn't really addicting. No, not the sex – there are groups for that which I know... er, am aware of – but the general interaction with your allies is really riveting, a perk I have come to expect from a BioWare game. There is real substance to these characters, and their histories are intriguing. Dialogue requires just as much strategy as your fights do. Since Mass Effect, the boys and girls in the conversation department have upped the challenge. You need to pay even closer attention to the characters around you, and you really do need to pace yourself in the decision making department because the whole game will ultimately be affected by even the smallest conclusions. Seriously, I put my controller down at one point and started actually weighing the pros and cons of a certain situation. I only ever do that – in real life – when something like a kidney has to be donated, or when a waiter peeks over his notepad and says: “Soup or salad?” The internal debate triggered is just that occupying!


VS!

… Do my priorities seem odd there? Hm.

Anyway, if you're a fan of BioWare, if you're a fan of fantasy, RPGs, and looking for a video game project to occupy your time for the next couple weeks, and then some if you're like me and are planning a second run through, pick this one up! I think it's a huge undertaking to make an RPG that has junkie-levels of replayability, but BioWare certainly makes it look easy thanks to their uncanny consistency. Mechanics are a bit wonk, and if BioWare ever broke that habit of making little to no tutorial the mechanics probably wouldn't come across as wonk, but there you have it. BioWare is very receptive to their audience, and have promised some changes for Mass Effect 2, but really are still very stubborn with certain functionality habits. Fine by me, I have yet to be disappointed by them.

P.S.

I played a Dalish rogue elf, and I named my Mabari wardog Oliver Reed.


Good boy! That's a good Oliver Reed!

Replayability 1
Design 1
Story 1
Sound 2
Gameplay & Mechanics 2
Score: 7 out of 10

An overall awesome presentation makes up for generic environments that could have been made a little more exotic. There is solid replayability, including a story and well-vocalized characters that will bring you back for more. Some mechanics were stronger than others – crafting vs. enchantment, potion and poison making vs. trap making, list goes on – which I wasn't the hugest fan of, but what the hey. These things are pretty minor in contrast to another major accomplishment on BioWare's part. Well done!


Stay tuned for the dish inspired by the game! Campfire stew, Mabari crunch, and maybe even a little bit of that good ole Lyrium.